Boot Scoot'n Boogie

Despite summer heat and the rumor that things have died down, they haven’t. This past Saturday night, the Dallas Symphony Orchestra League’s debs and their families took over the Eddie Deen Ranch for a casino party. The idea was to honor the Symphony Debs and Honor Guards, but it was really an opportunity for the parents to get to know each other in a relaxed environment.

It also allowed the debs to get to know each other and compare notes. Despite the ball still being months away (February, to be exact) most of the debs have already picked out their gowns! But, Saturday night was not for long gowns or white tie. Rather, it was bolo ties and Stetsons for the gents and short silky dresses and scooting boots for the gals.

One of the ordeals that the debs and their fathers face at the ball is the “first dance” by the fathers and daughter on a very crowded dance floor in the Meyerson. The dance floor at the event was the perfect opportunity for the girls to practice with their fathers.

But don’t for a second think that the group was simply dancing and partying while the Dallas Symphony Orchestra is facing budget challenges. No way! Kay reminded folks that this party and the others leading up to the ball, as well as the presentation itself, will raise a half million dollars for the DSOL.

It was a magical night with laughter and pictures everywhere and to say it was a successful night would be an understatement. Keep in touch with my blog and I will be posting more on my Pinterest this coming week! Expect to see more photos of Saturday night's event and follow some new links I will be updating on the side bar of my blog! XOXO

Why Me?

I never saw myself as the graceful and elegant type but I think every little girl likes the idea of becoming a debutante, much like wanting to be a princess… only possible. I watched movies like She’s The Man, a movie about a girl, Amanda Bynes, who wouldn’t participate in a debutante ball because of her commitment to soccer, and the whole time I was like, “WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANT TO BE A DEB?!” Then, I’d see shows like Gossip Girl, where, in one season, the stars of the show are training for the big, debut ball, and they’re dancing gracefully and with poise.

Gossip Girl's debutante ball.

These were my first glimpses of what debutant life is like- one was superficial and the other was alluring, but archaic. When I was young, the idea of becoming a deb correlated with being high class and it stuck with me for a while, as I got older. It wasn’t until I actually became a debutante that my views completely changed.

When many people hear debutante, a negative connotation gets attached to the word. You think, wealth, power, social climber and hierarchy. Although, this may have been an appropriate description in the past and many debutantes may join for this reason, actually being involved in this process is completely different from what it used to be. Now, it more like a type of schooling where young women can learn how to present themselves like ladies. In a world with strippers and gangs, learning how to be polite and appropriate doesn’t sound so negative anymore. It is true that the wealthier families are involved, but the money spent on this form of education is for philanthropy—now, that doesn’t sound so negative either.

 

If you look at it pragmatically, becoming a debutante is, nowadays, no different than paying for a college education. Only, it’s a different type of education, and like college, some people just can’t afford it. That doesn’t make debutante leagues socially exclusive, it just means you can either afford it or you can’t.

To continue, my negative views on being a debutante were changed when I actually experienced it. I mean, everyone should know how to greet people properly, how to eat at the dinner table, how to write a proper thank you note and how to dance. Instead of feeling like a superficial person, like I thought, I feel like these lessons could really help me in the future. The simple traits of being considerate and proper are lost on most people nowadays and what Debutantes do is keep a little piece of the old world alive, when everyone was expected to hold themselves at upmost propriety. I never expected to become a debutante but after drinking the Kool-Aid, I think it’s an experience that a lot of women could benefit from.

Stay tuned because on Sunday I will follow up with another post on The Modern Deb! Look on the sides of my blog to check out some links to debutantes dancing at their debut balls. In addition, on Friday I will post on my Pinterest pictures of embarrassing pictures of debutantes! 

The Golden Rule

This past Saturday I had the pleasure of attending a deb event called “Curtsies and Courtesies” and it was a very unique event. The purpose was to teach the girls proper etiquette and manners. What made the event even more intriguing was that it was being instructed by former President, Ronald Reagan’s, Social Secretary. After resigning from her position, she went on to revise what used to be the go-to book on politeness.

She made the event so colorful and exciting with here stories from The White House. One of these being an event she had to prepare for Princess Diana when she came to visit America for the first time. She didn’t skip a beat, she told us about the eclectic guest list, which included John Travolta and Clint Eastwood, and how Princess Diana was swept onto the dance floor to groove to the music of Saturday Night Fever.  (see picture below)

John Travolta Dancing with Diana, Princess of Wales 

She also read the thank you note that Princess Diana had sent her as an example of how a lady, who held her self with upmost propriety, wrote a proper thank you letter. She pointed out how you must find a way to say thank you without actually writing those words. Princess Diana recalled details and moments throughout the night that made the host feel special and appreciated. All of the debs sighed at the elegance of it all.

To follow, we learned how to properly eat at the dinner table.

Tips include:

1.     when in doubt use the cutlery from the outside, in 

2.      always acknowledge the hostess when you’re leaving the table

3.     leave your napkin in your seat when you leave the table

4.     when you don’t know what to do with a dish just watch others around you.

 A lot of these guidelines, people already knew but some of the tid-bits were very intriguing. I felt classier just listening to her!

Next, we learned how to properly introduce and greet people at a social gathering. The instructor told us to always introduce the person of highest ranking first.

 For example, is she was introducing a friend of hers to President Reagan’s wife, Mrs. Reagan would outrank the friend so she would say, “friend, I would like you to meet Mrs. Reagan.” 

This is the most respectful way of introducing people. Now say there’s no titles involved in the situation, the elder would outrank. If there’s a gender difference, the woman, actually, outranks. (I puffed my chest out a little bit at that one.)

All in all I learned very much but the piece of information I honored the most was the reason for why etiquette is so important. It is popular belief that showing manners is just a social thing but it is even simpler than that. Having manners is merely respecting those around you and being considerate. Treat others, as you would want to be treated. That’s The Golden Rule.

Keep following my blog! I will be posting a new entry this tuesday. Also, keep an eye out for my next Pinterest post on Monday. I will be scanning in a the hand out I received from the event with a list of basic etiquette tips! :)

The Blurry Line

Although being a debutante sounds glamorous and respectable, it’s actually quite surprising all of the issues that arise throughout the process. One of those is alcohol consumption. In recent years it has been hard to draw the line at these events. We preform this ceremony to introduce these debutantes as women, yet if they are caught with a drink it is shamed upon. So, it has been left a loose rule and relative to the board organizing the events during the time.

Recently, one of the best friends, who I have mentioned before, Olivia, had a run in with this arbitrary rule. She, another deb and the deb’s father had been talking near the bar during an event and the father bought his daughter and Olivia a glass of wine. One of the stricter board members noticed Olivia walking around with the drink in her hand and immediately pounced on her for it. Olivia’s mother, vice president of the board, was not present so Olivia felt completely ambushed. The woman accused her of used a “fake ID” to purchase the alcohol, even though that was not the case. It immediately became a huge debacle and over the span of a few days the board member received the new knowledge that one of the parents had, in fact, purchased the drink for Olivia and nothing illegal or against the rules had happened. The board member was forced to apologize to Olivia, despite her reluctance.

It did not end there though; Olivia was so upset and so concerned of her reputation when I talked to her about it, and it is understandable because that’s the kind of pressure a lot of these girls are under, it is vital for these girls so keep a pristine reputation in order to be an honorable debutant. To continue, though, we entered together into the next event together, because she was too nervous to go alone, and who else was standing at the front of the venue but the same woman, passing out name tags!! Almost like clockwork, one of the waitresses who was passing out drinking bands asked Olivia and I, “anyone drinking tonight?” and the board member snaps, “absolutely not!”

I felt so bad for Olivia in that moment because I knew she was completely innocent in the situation. This goes for sure how blurry the line can be for debutants and how easy it is, without clarification, to cause problems.

Tomorrow afternoons I will be posting the top 10 rules not to break while training to be a deb and look forward to my next post where I will be talking about the upcoming event, Courtsies and Courtesies!!

In a Traditional Sense...

In a traditional sense, the Dallas Symphony Orchestra League is completely different from what it was today. The ambiance of what it used to be is still around though. The white dresses, the long gloves that slides gracefully over a debs elbow, the smooth steps of the waltz on the wooden floor, The difference is that it is no longer meant to, what essentially they used to do, auction off women… instead, the DSOL has used the debutante balls and events as a medium for fundraising; and they have been widely successful.

Last year they brought in over $1.5 million in funding off ticket sales alone and $100,000 dollars were raked in through their annual fundraiser. Now why does the DSOL have such a passion for fundraising and what is this immense amount of money used for? The answer is youth education. This organization pours the majority of their funding into youth concert programs that helps enrich the many lives of children. As many as 30,000 students attend the annual appreciation luncheon, which is hosted by the DSOL. In addition, the Dallas Symphony Orchestra League sponsors countless classical competitions that offer large scholarships to aspiring musicians who dream of being part of a concerto. The most recognizable being the Lynn Harrell and the Juanita Miller Concerto Competitions. Even more so, the Dallas Symphony Orchestra League ushers in a variety of musical artists to help enrich and immerse students and society in musical culture.

Evidently, the Dallas Symphony Orchestra does a lot to lighten our worlds with music and in the process lends out a helping hand to the youth in the community that don't have the opportunities others do. Donating is not just targeted at the rich either. Any little donation helps give back to the Dallas community and you could be a part of that.

I will be posting beside my blog a link where you can donate any amour you choose and keep following my twitter because on monday I will be posting some pictures of top dresses worn last year so you get an idea of the kinds of dresses the debutantes wear! Keep in touch!

A Texas Tradition

Debutante balls are a great tradition in many regions of the United States. These balls are held to serve as a formal debut of young women who have matured and are now ready to be presented into society. Each woman is hand picked from a distinguished committee and trained in all things social, from how to dine to how to bow. In the past, the intention was to present these elite women of society to the bachelors within their same circle. As the world becomes more progressive, though, so do debutantes and finding a man to court them is no longer the case. But, each state holds its traditional flair and I am here to walk you through the process that goes into becoming a debutant of the Dallas Symphony Orchestra League, one of the most prestigious in Texas.

I began my journey this summer and I have already gotten lost within the parties and the elegance and atmosphere of this world. My first experience was shopping for my ball gown for the big debut in November. It just so happened that my family and I were going to be in New York City for my sister's law school graduation in early, May. So, my mom made an appointment at Kleinfeld Bridal, most commonly known as the bridal shop where TCL hit series "Say Yes To The Dress" is filmed. I was so excited and, better yet, I had my best friend, Olivia, with me -- the person who convinced me to join the league. It didn't take me long to find the right dress. You can see a picture of it beneath.

These dresses are very heavy and although most leagues don't require a tulle (the poofy part of a dress), Texas is unique in the way that it does require a tool because of the famous "Texas Dip" every Texas, debutant is required to preform. The curtsy is so obscure and exaggerated, a large tulle is necessary for maximum leg movement. That's right, we even have the corsets to go with 'em. Here is an example of what the "Texas Dip" looks like. 

It is essential to purchase the dress far in advance as they take at least 3 months to make and photos are taken of the debs fully gowned in February.

After Olivia and I  returned from the NYC, we had to attend an announcement reception where the parents of the debutantes and board members are welcomed to watch the announcement of the 2015 Dallas Symphony Orchestra League of Debutantes. We were each paired with a temporary, honor guard for the night, who would walk us down the runway. An honor guard is the social equivalent to a debutante, only they've already gone through their formal training. Honor Guards are older and most have graduated from college and are gentleman from influential families who assist us in our debut to society, as well as help with event organization.

The day before we spent 2 hours preparing how, when, where and with whom we were going to walk. The event took place at Neiman Marcus in downtown Dallas May, 29th and the Dallas Symphony League holds it every year there during the store's after hours. The night of, all of the girls wait impatiently and nervously in the back for names to be called and it really is a sight to see all these beautiful and sophisticated women surrounded by sparkling designer jewelry in the glass cases and high fashion purses hanging from the racks.

When our name was called we would take the arm of the honor guard assigned and they'd walk us up to a platform where our full name would be announced, the college we attend and our majors. After, we walk down the isle with everyone watching. At the end of the isle, James French, well known for photographing many of Texas' influential families, would take our photo and we'd walk the rest of the way down ourselves. After everyones names were called all the girls took a group photo on the marble stairs and then we were free to mingle.

My first experiences as a debutant have been rewarding and it is definitely a unique society that not many have the privilege to be a part of! Check back in with me Sunday for my next blog post where I will be going more in depth about what it means to be a debutante, what is unique about the Dallas Symphony Orchestra League and discuss other summer events! In the mean time, I will be posting photographs of the Dallas Symphony Orchestra League's first class of debutantes from 1946 on my Pinterest this Friday! Also, come back regularly to view some links on the side bars of my blog for upcoming trunk shows on ball gowns!