Why Me?

I never saw myself as the graceful and elegant type but I think every little girl likes the idea of becoming a debutante, much like wanting to be a princess… only possible. I watched movies like She’s The Man, a movie about a girl, Amanda Bynes, who wouldn’t participate in a debutante ball because of her commitment to soccer, and the whole time I was like, “WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANT TO BE A DEB?!” Then, I’d see shows like Gossip Girl, where, in one season, the stars of the show are training for the big, debut ball, and they’re dancing gracefully and with poise.

Gossip Girl's debutante ball.

These were my first glimpses of what debutant life is like- one was superficial and the other was alluring, but archaic. When I was young, the idea of becoming a deb correlated with being high class and it stuck with me for a while, as I got older. It wasn’t until I actually became a debutante that my views completely changed.

When many people hear debutante, a negative connotation gets attached to the word. You think, wealth, power, social climber and hierarchy. Although, this may have been an appropriate description in the past and many debutantes may join for this reason, actually being involved in this process is completely different from what it used to be. Now, it more like a type of schooling where young women can learn how to present themselves like ladies. In a world with strippers and gangs, learning how to be polite and appropriate doesn’t sound so negative anymore. It is true that the wealthier families are involved, but the money spent on this form of education is for philanthropy—now, that doesn’t sound so negative either.

 

If you look at it pragmatically, becoming a debutante is, nowadays, no different than paying for a college education. Only, it’s a different type of education, and like college, some people just can’t afford it. That doesn’t make debutante leagues socially exclusive, it just means you can either afford it or you can’t.

To continue, my negative views on being a debutante were changed when I actually experienced it. I mean, everyone should know how to greet people properly, how to eat at the dinner table, how to write a proper thank you note and how to dance. Instead of feeling like a superficial person, like I thought, I feel like these lessons could really help me in the future. The simple traits of being considerate and proper are lost on most people nowadays and what Debutantes do is keep a little piece of the old world alive, when everyone was expected to hold themselves at upmost propriety. I never expected to become a debutante but after drinking the Kool-Aid, I think it’s an experience that a lot of women could benefit from.

Stay tuned because on Sunday I will follow up with another post on The Modern Deb! Look on the sides of my blog to check out some links to debutantes dancing at their debut balls. In addition, on Friday I will post on my Pinterest pictures of embarrassing pictures of debutantes!